Popular Mechanics for Grief

It came today.
The tidal wave that I was expecting.
Though I wasn’t expecting the magnitude,
the latitude and longitude,
of grief
to come so quickly,
like the train
that I nearly caught today.

I’ll tell you the truth mum,
I’m not doing very well.
Everything is too noisy
and every few minutes I think I hear your voice.
I went to the supermarket yesterday
and every aisle I looked for you,
it’s a habit.
Just another one that I have to kick.

There’s so much more I wanted to tell you.
And so much more I could have achieved,
I feel like I fell behind on life’s treadmill,
and I wish I could have been more for you.
There’s a lot of loose parts rattling around
in this tin man brain of mine.
And I’m going to write them all here.